Might As Well Be Me

I've never been a lottery kind of a person. I'd rather have my dollar than a piece of paper with the chance to win millions printed on it.

However, I work in an office that collects money weekly for lottery tickets. And while I feel certain that me staying out of the pool pretty much guarantees that they'll win at some point, I have a hard time doing so. Every week, they get two dollars out of me and every week, we lose money. I swear, I could be drinking beer with that money!

All of that said, this didn't stop me from buying a raffle ticket in the lottery's newest game where they sell a pre-set number of tickets and the draw for prizes - the odds are actually a lot higher that you'll win something. Of course, you pay $5 instead of one for that privilege.

Can you imagine what my blog would be like if I actually won millions of dollars? Every day, you'd tune in to read about:
1. My new dresses
2. The wine I'm drinking
3. My new house in which I would hopefully be fucking in every room before I every put a stick of furniture in
4. My new furniture on every piece of which I would hopefully be fucking once I'd christened the bare rooms
5. How many bon-bons I'm eating
6. My new rollerskates - maybe a different pair for every day, like days-of-the-week panties
7. The things I do to fill up the long, long days of not having to work
8. The daily massages I would receive from a lanky Eastern European fellow named Sergei
9. All the fancy pens (Pilot Dr. Grip Gel) money could buy
10. The thousands upon thousands of books I would be buy and read and then, because throwing them away would be wasteful and keeping them would be impractical, I would store in the bathroom to tear out a page at a time to use as toilet paper.

Man! That would be one sweet life...