I'm not a fan of thongs. As Minnie Driver once said in her darling British accent on a late-night talk show, they "make me feel like me bum has gotten hungry and eaten me pants."
This personal choice usually has no effect on my day-to-day life, as most of my clothes work just fine with bikini panties or those adorable Victoria's Secret Sexy Little Things booty panties. It's not like my clothes are generally so skintight as to reveal panty lines anyway.
Or so I thought.
Today, I'm rocking some cute gray slacks, a girly black t-shirt, mary janes, and a hairdo that remarkably looks like something special. All morning, I've been silently congratulating myself on looking good. "Dang good" is how I put it to myself in myownhead an hour ago, I believe.
But I just happened to go to the bathroom (all right, so "happened to" makes it sound like a happy accident - it was a deliberate choice) and was checking myself out in the mirror when I noticed that, for all my cuteness, when I did I three-quarter turn in front of the mirror, something was off.
I have bifurcated buns.
My panty lines are such that they are cutting exactly halfway across each ass cheek, making it look like I have a cute heiner on top and then big blobs of butt below. Like, two butts. It's not attractive, people. I'm not even sure how this is possible considering that I have the smallest arse in the universe (despite the fact that I have been reassured that the mythical "derby butt" does exist and will be mine after several months of rollerderby).
In any case, I plan to spend a lot of time sitting on aforementioned asses today to keep it out of view of the general public. It may be time to invest in some panties that just go ahead and let it all hang out.
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6 comments:
Oh just go to the bathroom and remove your underwear then :)
Yup...I'm with Tiah on this. Go commando!
Yup, another vote for commando. So much more comfy than thongs anyway, IMO.
hee hee go commando is right!!!!!
My sis has gone commando for years. I've never understood how she could do it in JEANS, but she has no qualms about it.
EG is going commando for her ballet recital. The instructor said not to wear panties-- the costume is cut so high you can see the little girl briefs underneath. But you know what? My kid likes being naked so much she won't even care.
yup commando is the way to go. I have tried all different thongs, but they are all the same...a pain in the ass, literally.
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