Wednesday, June 13, 2007

So Afraid to Break the Rules in All the Wrong Places

Well 1 out of 3 ain't bad. The derby drama is rectified, mostly because, yes, you have drama when you get a bunch of women together but you also have a lot of ability to listen and be mature. Women can fix women more easily than they can fix anything else.

But my other stuff? Well, it's all in limbo, folks...but it got me thinking. Okay, so I haven't stopped thinking about any of it for months and months and months now. But I am moved to write about it today in the context of acceptability.

So much of what we do in life is dictated by other people - we do things we don't want to, that aren't us, that we shouldn't - because someone else came up with the dictum that it should be so. When I ask for a deserved raise, I get the run-around because that's what the workworld is like. But when I am expected to shut up and go away because I'm young and a woman, that's because someone somewhere down the line perpetuated the idea that women can't push. And to push would be dangerous for them professionally.

I, for one, am getting tired of feeling like I have to be a certain way because other people think I should. Fortunately for me, I don't actually act on that feeling - I'm me these days, unapologetically.

What do you all do to break the "rules" that you just don't feel bad about?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Two things I'm unapologetic about: my loud, boisterous laugh and my potty mouth (within reason, of course). I'm just not going to feel bad about showing my enthusiasm for something or the fact that I have a really twisted sense of humor. I'm not going to act like "a lady." I'm me! I don't believe in being uptight and humorless, and I don't tend to spend much time with people who are.

Shaila said...

I hope you're able to stop living in limbo soon.

I break the rules on parenting. We vacation without our kids and don't feel bad about it. We put ourselves before our kids once in a while. I feel like keeping our relationship with eachother in a good place is beneficial to our kids in the long run.

Anonymous said...

I completely agree with you. I too often find that I am doing something more for what people will think about me than what is truly me. It is so freeing to find the grace to be yourself. Unfortuately, we don't do it often enough.
A book that might interest you: "The Price of Motherhood" by Ann Crittenden. http://www.anncrittenden.com/