Friday, May 25, 2007

It's Nice to Know the Bits Are All in Order

I went for my annual cootchie checkup this morning. You'll all be relieved to know that Dirty Girl's ownpersonalcootchie is alive and kicking. Well, not literally. I mean, what a fucking terrifying image!

I didn't see my normal gynecologist (which was too bad, because I had a question all ready for her about female ejaculation [aka "squirting"]) - instead, I saw the "other" gynecologist who was the one to deliver Baby Girl two years ago. Of course, she sees a lot of ladies' cookies in her line of work, so it wasn't a shocker to me that she didn't really seem to remember mine. In any case, she also looks like she's 12, so I didn't feel right about hitting her with a sexually subversive question, whether or not she'd been trained in Cootchie Doctor School to answer such queries.

Everyone who knew I was headed for this appointment this morning kept saying, "EEP! Sorry about that!" and I don't understand this. I would SO rather go to the LadyDoctor than to the dentist. I laugh in the face of a speculum, really. Assuming speculums (specula?) had faces.

Well, at least that's one thing off the to-do list for the year (picture Dirty Girl slapping her hands in the international gesture for self-satisfaction at a job well done).

5 comments:

bettie cracker said...

wow! You are brilliant! I never thought to ask my gyno about that!! Of course! That is seriously one of my major goals in life - to put Old Faithful to shame. I don't know why it never hit me; in college I asked the gyno to mark my g-spot with a big red X. He didn't.

Anonymous said...

i asked my gyno once why i am so horny all the time, and he said because the universe wanted the man i am with to be one lucky fella. ;)

The Girl said...

Bettie, remind me to tell you the secret to it (at least for me. I don't know if it applies to everyone).

And that girl, I'll bet he IS...(I think my horniness increases exponentially every single day. Not sure why. Good genetics?)

Anonymous said...

Hey you better share that secret with all of us! No fair! I just hope to make it through the process without a kid screaming.

Anonymous said...

i think genetics has a lot to do with it. i also think it has to do with being born in the south. southern girls can be such whores...